Oh, good. Because I was really hoping to spend my entire paycheck on a burger that gets aggressively sprinkled with salt by a man who looks like a Turkish James Bond villain.
Salt Bae—also known as **Nusret Gökçe, the internet’s most theatrical butcher—**has decided that steaks sprinkled with luxury weren’t enough. Now, he’s bringing his signature flair to burgers.
And apparently, it won’t just be for the wealthy. Which is a bold statement coming from a guy who once charged $1,200 for a gold-covered steak. Are we sure “not for the wealthy” doesn’t just mean “for the slightly less wealthy”?
The Burger Experience: Salt Bae Style
Imagine walking into his new burger spot in LA or NYC. You order a simple cheeseburger, but suddenly, a dramatic symphony starts playing.
A waiter in sunglasses and a tight black turtleneck approaches your table. He doesn’t speak—he just stares.
Your burger arrives, but it’s not ready yet. Salt Bae himself emerges from the shadows, moving in slow motion.
He lifts his gold-plated salt shaker and, in one smooth motion, rains salt down his forearm, defying every health code known to man.
At this point, you’re not even hungry anymore—you’re just mesmerized.
Affordable… But How Affordable?
When he says it “won’t just be for the wealthy,” what does that mean exactly?
- Does the burger come with a side of financing options?
- Will there be a “budget-friendly” option where he just winks at your burger instead of seasoning it?
- If you can’t afford the full burger, do you just get a complimentary Salt Bae handshake and a single fry?
Will Regular People Still Feel Fancy?
There’s a chance that despite the price, regular people will still walk in thinking they’re about to have a normal burger experience.
And then, they’ll see the menu.
- Classic Cheeseburger – $50 (Comes with a dramatic salt sprinkle and emotional damage)
- Gold-Leaf Wagyu Burger – $300 (Because nothing says “fine dining” like eating money in sandwich form)
- Budget Burger – $25 (Includes one bite of a burger and Salt Bae’s personal blessing)
At this point, the cashier just stares at you like, “Can you afford to be here?” And you’re thinking, I should’ve just gone to McDonald’s.
Final Thought
Whether or not Salt Bae’s “affordable” burger chain actually delivers on its promise, one thing is certain—Instagram is about to be flooded with slow-motion salt sprinkling videos.
And when that first $75 cheeseburger hits my table, I’m going to take one elegant, thoughtful bite… and then Venmo request all my friends for reimbursement.