Ah, Canada—the Great White North, home of maple syrup, hockey, and a penchant for politeness that makes even a New Yorker look like a raging bull in a china shop. And when you throw Donald Trump into the mix, it’s like adding a pinch of salt to a sweet dessert. So, what could possibly go wrong? Buckle up as we take a humorous tour of this peculiar relationship with a smattering of jokes to tickle your funny bone.
1. Why did Trump want to build a wall on the Canadian border? To keep all that extra politeness from leaking into the U.S.!
2. If Trump ever visited Canada, what would his guidebook be called? “How to Baffle Canadians in 10 Easy Steps.”
3. What did Trump say when a Canadian asked him why he didn’t like their health care system? “Because I can’t make a profit off of it!”
4. Trump tried to order a Canadian breakfast once. After hearing “two eggs over easy,” he yelled, “No! I want them fried—like my deals!”
5. What’s Trump’s favorite Canadian pastime? Watching the Leafs lose—because at least someone else is losing as much as he is!
6. Why does Trump refuse to play in Canadian hockey games? He heard there’s no scoring unless you can get past the goalie—and that’s a wall he simply can’t build!
7. You know Donald Trump is in Canada when they have to issue a national alert: “Beware of excessive tweeting and the appearance of orange in public spaces!”
8. What did Trump say when he found out he could get free Wi-Fi in Canada? “Finally, a network I don’t have to cheat on!”
9. How do you recognize a Canadian at a Trump rally? They’re the ones apologizing for bumping into the wall!
10. Why does Trump think Canadians all live in igloos? Because he’s only ever seen Canada in cartoons—believing their version of reality is a bit ‘frozen’!
11. What did Trump say while trying to understand Canada’s love for hockey? “Why do they call it ‘the Great Game’? I’ve seen better stuff on my golf courses!”
12. How can you tell Trump’s never tried Poutine? Because he thinks ‘gravy’ is just another word for ‘his approval ratings’!
13. Trump claimed he’d make a great lumberjack. Canadians agreed, saying, “Sure—if we want to see trees filed for bankruptcy!”
14. When Trump visited Canada, he thought the national anthem was “O Canada, you’re a loser!” Little did he know it was a misunderstanding…
15. Finally, what’s Trump’s idea of a successful joint U.S.-Canada project? A massive theme park called “Canada: The Snowy Wall,” featuring attractions like “Maple syrup wrestling” and “Hockey fall!”
So there you have it—15 hilarious Trump-and-Canada concoctions bound to make even the most stoic hockey player crack a smile. Who knew a bit of diplomacy could be so delightful when served with a side of humor!
