Ah, television teens—the mythical creatures who exist in a world where homework doesn’t matter, friendships revolve around dramatic speeches, and everyone looks 25.
If real teens acted like TV teens, the world would be absolute chaos. Here’s a list of the most ridiculous things they do on screen that would never, ever fly in reality.
1. Wake Up With Perfect Hair
On TV, teens roll out of bed looking like they just left a salon.
In real life? They wake up looking like they just lost a fight with a tornado.
2. Eat a Full Breakfast Before School
TV parents make pancakes, bacon, eggs, fresh orange juice, and a full fruit platter.
Real teens? Grab a half-eaten granola bar from their backpack and call it “nutritional survival.”
3. Have Deep, Life-Changing Conversations in the Hallway
On TV, teens deliver monologues about love, destiny, and personal growth between class periods.
In reality? They have exactly 27 seconds to get to their next class before their teacher declares them legally missing.
4. Throw Wild House Parties With No Consequences
TV teens throw massive, perfectly decorated parties where a hundred people show up, but nobody ever steals the WiFi password.
In real life? Someone spills soda on the carpet, the neighbor calls the cops at 9:30, and mom finds out before it even starts.
5. Work One Shift a Week but Afford a Mansion
TV teens have a part-time job at a coffee shop and still afford designer clothes, fancy prom dresses, and a car.
Real teens with jobs? Spend their whole paycheck on gas and one overpriced smoothie.
6. Walk Into a Mall and Try on Clothes Without Buying Anything
TV teens spend entire afternoons trying on 50 outfits with zero budget.
In real life? Retail workers give you the side-eye after the second try-on.
7. Get a Locker Big Enough to Live In
TV teens have gigantic, walk-in closet-sized lockers with room for decorations, a mirror, a mini fridge, and their entire social life.
In reality? You get a dented metal box that barely fits a binder and smells like sadness.
8. Date Someone Way Older With No Questions Asked
TV teens are 16 dating 21-year-olds like it’s normal.
Real life? That’s an illegal age gap and somebody’s going to jail.
9. Always Hang Out at a Diner or Coffee Shop
TV teens have a favorite coffee shop where they spend 90% of their time.
Real life? Who’s paying for all those lattes?
10. Have Zero Homework But Perfect Grades
TV teens are never seen studying but somehow get into Ivy League schools.
Real teens? One night of missing assignments and their GPA disappears like a magic trick.
11. Deliver the Perfect Comeback Instantly
TV teens always have a witty, cutting remark ready.
Real teens? Think of a good comeback six hours later in the shower.
12. Storm Out of Class Without Consequences
TV teens leave in the middle of class to “find themselves,” and the teacher just nods.
Real life? That’s a detention, bestie.
13. Drive Brand New Cars With No Explanation
TV teens get a sleek, brand-new sports car for their birthday.
Real teens? “Here’s your mom’s 20-year-old minivan with a broken radio.”
14. Randomly Break Into Song in the Hallway
On TV, teens start full musical numbers out of nowhere.
In reality? People would call the school counselor.
15. Have No Social Media Drama
TV teens never post a bad selfie or have online arguments over nothing.
Real teens? Someone subtweets them, and it’s a full-on war.
16. Casually Walk Into Each Other’s Houses
On TV, nobody knocks. They just barge in and steal snacks.
In real life? That’s breaking and entering.
17. Have Meaningful Eye Contact for Like, Five Minutes
TV teens stare at their crush from across the room in slow motion.
Real teens? That’s just uncomfortable and slightly terrifying.
18. Always Have the Perfect Comeback in a Roast Battle
TV teens have battle-ready clapbacks at all times.
Real teens? Mumble “yeah, well… YOU’RE ugly” and immediately regret it.
19. Get Away With Skipping School All the Time
TV teens skip school, go on adventures, and nobody notices.
In real life? Miss one math class and your parents get a phone call from the school within 15 minutes.
20. Have Their Entire Life Figured Out at 18
TV teens know exactly what they want, where they’re going, and have a 10-year plan.
Real teens? “Uh, I dunno. Maybe I’ll just…vibe?”
Final Thoughts
If real teenagers acted like TV teenagers, the world would be one giant, chaotic drama-filled sitcom.
And honestly? It would still be more realistic than a high schooler affording a New York City apartment.
