Being human is weird. We all like to think we’re in control of our actions, but our brains have other plans. You ever catch yourself doing something and think, Why am I like this? Well, buckle up, because here are 19 things you do without even realizing it—and yes, we’re all guilty.
1. Pretending to Look at Your Phone When Walking Past Someone
Oh, are you suddenly checking emails while walking by that one neighbor? No, you’re not. You’re just avoiding the awkwardness of making eye contact like it’s a legally binding contract.
2. Forgetting Why You Walked Into a Room
Your brain: We need something from the kitchen.
Your legs: Got it.
Your brain (five seconds later): We have nothing. Abort mission. Panic.
3. Waving Back at Someone Who Wasn’t Waving at You
The ultimate social humiliation. The only way to recover? Pretend you were just stretching.
4. Typing a Response, Then Deleting It Like 12 Times
You ever stare at a text like it’s a legal document and rewrite “sounds good” four times? Just send it. Nobody is analyzing your punctuation as hard as you are.
5. Automatically Saying “You Too” at the Worst Possible Moments
Waiter: “Enjoy your meal!”
You: “You too!”
Waiter: Doesn’t even have food.
6. Checking the Fridge for No Reason
No, new snacks did not magically appear in the last five minutes. But go ahead. Open it again. Maybe this time, something exciting will be there.
7. Rehearsing a Conversation Before Making a Phone Call
Because nothing is more terrifying than improvising like a normal human being.
8. Thinking of a Comeback… Three Hours Too Late
Oh, NOW you have the perfect response? Too bad the argument ended before lunch.
9. Watching the Microwave Countdown Like It’s a Thriller Movie
You won’t let it hit zero. You’ll stop it at one second like a bomb defusal expert. Because beeping? Absolutely not.
10. Thinking the Shower is a Concert Hall
Your actual singing ability? Questionable.
Your shower self? Grammy-winning legend.
11. Holding Your Breath When Walking Past Someone Who’s Smoking
Gotta protect your lungs for exactly five seconds, then immediately forget about air quality for the rest of the day.
12. Hitting “Next Episode” While Saying, “I Should Go to Bed”
We all know you’re lying. Netflix knows. Your future sleepy self knows. It’s happening anyway.
13. Checking Your Phone the Second It Gets Quiet in a Conversation
Because nothing says “I’m comfortable” like aggressively scrolling through an app you closed 30 seconds ago.
14. Narrating Your Life Like You’re in a Movie
Me, walking down the street: She was just an ordinary person… until today.
Also me: Trips over nothing.
15. Googling Things You Should Definitely Already Know
“How many cups in a gallon?”
“What day is Thanksgiving?”
“Do fish sleep?”
Listen, we all do it.
16. Responding to “How Are You?” with “Good, How Are You?”… Even If You’re NOT
Your life could be falling apart, but you’re still gonna say “good!” because that’s how society works.
17. Replaying an Embarrassing Moment from 10 Years Ago
No one else remembers that time you mispronounced “facade” in third grade.
But you do. And apparently, your brain wants you to relive it nightly.
18. Pressing the Elevator Button Again… As If That Helps
We all know it’s coming. But pressing it harder and more times definitely makes the elevator move faster, right?
19. Laughing at a Joke… That You Only Understood 30 Seconds Later
You ever delay your “HAHAHAHA” because your brain needed extra loading time? Congratulations, you just played it off like it was totally normal.
Final Thought
See? You’re not alone in your weird human behaviors. We all do them. We’re all embarrassingly predictable. But hey, that just makes us part of the club.
Now go check the fridge again. Maybe this time, something new really did appear.
