The internet is a magical place where you can learn a new language, buy a haunted doll at 3 AM, or accidentally start an argument with a stranger in Ohio about how to cook rice. But not everyone is using it correctly. Some people treat it like a 24/7 hotline for nonsense, and honestly, we should be concerned.
Here are 19 people who have completely misunderstood the assignment when it comes to using the internet.
1. The Google Confessional
Someone really typed:
“Can you get pregnant from holding hands? Asking for a friend.”
Google is a search engine, not a priest. And if that were true, middle school dances would be crime scenes.
2. The Wikipedia Warrior
There’s always that one person who loses an argument and immediately edits Wikipedia to back themselves up.
Sorry, Kyle, but changing “The Moon is a natural satellite” to “The Moon is actually made of cheese and controlled by lizard people” doesn’t make it true.
3. The Serial Screenshotter
Person: “Ugh, why is my phone out of storage?”
Also that person: Has 5,000 screenshots of things they will never look at again.
You don’t need 43 blurry photos of a recipe you never made. Delete it. Let it go.
4. The Google Doctor
Typed into Google:
“Why do I have a headache?”
Google:
“You have two days to live.”
Ah yes, WebMD—turning minor dehydration into terminal illness since 1996.
5. The Facebook Investigator
Writes “anyone know what time the mall closes?” on Facebook instead of googling it in 3 seconds.
Why must you summon the village elders instead of just checking the mall’s website like a normal person?
6. The All-Caps Expert
“HOW DO I DOWNLOAD THE INTERNET???”
Sir. Please. Take your hands off the Caps Lock.
7. The Misinformation Machine
Person: “I read that eating carrots gives you night vision!”
Also that person: “Bill Gates is hiding microchips in my oatmeal!”
Just because Aunt Brenda posted it on Facebook doesn’t mean it’s scientifically accurate.
8. The Password Amnesia Victim
Person: “I forgot my password.”
Website: “Enter your old password.”
Person: “If I knew that, I WOULDN’T BE HERE.”
Honestly, at this point, I have six passwords and none of them work.
9. The “This Is Not Google” Person
Person: “Hey Google, where’s the nearest gas station?”
Posted… in a YouTube comments section.
You do realize Google can’t hear you there, right?
10. The Over-Sharer
Person: “Just had the worst diarrhea of my life. Anyway, what’s up?”
Ma’am. This is not information for the timeline.
11. The Guy Who Asks Stupid Questions on Amazon
Customer Review: “Does this toaster also work as a refrigerator?”
Yes, Jeff. It toasts the bread AND keeps it cold. That’s how science works.
12. The Overly Suspicious Dad
Dad: “I don’t trust online banking. Too many hackers!”
Also Dad: “Let me give this sketchy website my Social Security number for a free boat.”
Priorities.
13. The Person Who Still Doesn’t Know How to Mute Zoom
Coworker aggressively slurping soup during a meeting.
Everyone else: “Hey Karen, we can hear you.”
Karen: “No you can’t, I’m on mute.”
Karen. Please. The soup is louder than my will to live.
14. The Guy Who Asks Google for Legal Advice
Typed into Google: “How to hide a body asking for a friend.”
Fun fact: The FBI is now watching you.
15. The Overly Honest Google Searcher
Typed into Google: “Why does my left knee hurt when it rains, and also, do my coworkers hate me?”
Google is not a therapist.
16. The Internet Tough Guy
“I’d fight anyone who disagrees with me about pineapple on pizza!”
Sir, you have never been in a fight in your life. Please go sit down.
17. The “Free WiFi” Addict
Will enter any sketchy coffee shop if they see “FREE WIFI” on the door.
And then be shocked when their bank account is hacked.
18. The Parent Who Thinks Google Is a Human
Mom: “Hey Google, can you tell me how to fix my dishwasher?”
Typed directly into Google: “Hello, hope you’re doing well. I have a question…”
Google does not need small talk, Mom.
19. The Human Pop-Up Ad
“Hey girl, I see we went to high school together. Want to join my essential oils pyramid scheme?”
No. I’d rather delete the internet.
Final Thought
The internet is a powerful tool… when used correctly. Unfortunately, some people treat it like a giant suggestion box for their worst ideas.
So please, for the love of all things WiFi, let’s use the internet responsibly. Or at least learn how to Google properly.
