Kids are adorable—until they start writing notes that make you wonder if you should start sleeping with one eye open. They have no filter, no concept of social norms, and a disturbing ability to express emotions that range from pure love to absolute terror.
Here are 19 notes from kids who might just be future supervillains… or at the very least, children who should not be left alone with scissors.
1. The Ruthless Farewell
“Dear Mom, I love you, but I love Dad more. Bye forever.”
Translation: This kid packed a single stuffed animal and moved to Dad’s house across the street.
2. The Artistic Threat
A drawing of a stick figure lying down with red scribbles all over it. The caption? “This is you if you touch my Legos again.”
Translation: It’s not just about the Legos. It’s about sending a message.
3. The Premeditated Revenge
“I am not mad. I am just thinking about ways to make you sorry.”
Translation: This child has a list. And you’re on it.
4. The Alarmingly Specific Plan
“Dear Tommy, I like you. But if you don’t like me back, I will make you disappear.”
Translation: Tommy is in danger.
5. The Birthday Card That Feels Like a Threat
“Happy Birthday, Grandpa. You are almost dead. Love, Ava.”
Translation: This kid sees life as a countdown clock.
6. The Sibling Rivalry Gone Wrong
“Dear Mom and Dad, if you keep giving Billy more attention, I will sell him on eBay.”
Translation: Honestly, Billy should be worried.
7. The Concerned Neighbor
“Dear Mrs. Johnson, I saw you take three Amazon boxes inside today. Do you need that much stuff? Please explain.”
Translation: This kid might be the government in disguise.
8. The Unforgiving Breakup Letter
“Dear Kyle, I don’t like you anymore. You ate my gummy bears. I hope you trip.”
Translation: Kyle will never know peace again.
9. The Slightly Too Logical Goodbye Note
“Mom, I ran away. I am at Jimmy’s. If I’m not back by dinner, you can have my room.”
Translation: This kid really just needed some space.
10. The Poetic But Sinister Observation
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I am watching you when you sleep too.”
Translation: Get a security system. Immediately.
11. The Reminder That Karma Exists
“Remember when you said no to dessert? I remember. And so does my heart.”
Translation: Your days are numbered.
12. The Existential Crisis at Age 6
“What if we are all just dolls in a giant’s dollhouse? Anyway, love you, Mom.”
Translation: This kid has seen things.
13. The “I Know Too Much” Note
“Mom, you told me not to tattle, so I won’t. But I know what Dad did. Ask me later.”
Translation: Dad better start explaining now.
14. The Pet Owner’s Ultimatum
“If Fluffy goes missing, it wasn’t me. But maybe check under my bed.”
Translation: Fluffy needs witness protection.
15. The Unnerving Christmas List
“Dear Santa, I have been good. Mostly. But if you don’t bring me an iPad, I will become bad.”
Translation: Santa is under duress.
16. The Subtle-but-Not-So-Subtle Threat
“Mom, I love you. Also, I know where you keep the snacks.”
Translation: This is not a warning. It’s a fact.
17. The Question That Should NOT Be Asked
“Can you make a new baby but trade this one for a different one?”
Translation: Someone is NOT happy with their sibling.
18. The Note That Comes With an Ominous Pause
“I did something. You’ll find out soon.”
Translation: There’s probably a mess. Or a crime scene.
19. The Most Honest Apology Letter Ever
“Dear Teacher, I’m sorry for what I did. But you started it.”
Translation: This child is going places… but probably not to recess.
Final Thoughts
Kids are hilarious, unpredictable, and a little scary. But hey, at least they’re honest—which is more than we can say for some adults. Just… maybe keep an eye on them. And your snack cabinet.
