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crazy Quotes - quotes about crazy -

crazy Quotes

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?

"Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police."

"We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately."

"Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected."

"One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim."

I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!

I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends?they're the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "boy was that fun."

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.

Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

?There?s very little advice in men?s magazines, because men think, I know what I?m doing. Just show me somebody naked.

?A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game.?

?Men are run by their erections.?

?Guys are like port-o-potties. All the good ones are taken and the bad ones are full of crap.?

?Men aren?t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.?

Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

I make a lot of money, but I don't want to talk about that. I work very hard and I'm worth every cent.

?If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut.?

?One must work and dare if one really wants to live.?

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure--which is: Try to please everybody.

Today is just a good day in disguise.

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.

You don't have to be the biggest to beat the biggest.

Broke is normal. Why be normal?

I don?t have pet peeves ? I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!

Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?

You can?t fight City Hall, but you can damn sure blow it up.

If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?

Honesty may be the best policy, but it?s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.

Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, You show me a tropical fruit and I?ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

You can prick your finger ? just don?t finger your prick.

God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?

Property is theft. Nobody ?owns? anything. When you die, it all stays here.

The best thing about living at the water?s edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

The real reason that we can?t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post ?Thou shalt not steal,? ?Thou shalt not commit adultery,? and ?Thou shalt not lie? in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians.

And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, Fuck waffles.

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy

A question that sometimes drives me hazy am I or are the others crazy

My friends and I are crazy. Thats the only thing that keeps us sane

Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness. And they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy or they become legend

I like someone who is a little crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess

Of course I'm crazy but that doesnt mean I'm wrong

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine we were both crazy about girls

Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world usually do

Love is a crazy thing. It sucks and is totally overrated

There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy

I never think of the future it comes soon enough.

Without friends no one would choose to live.

People look at you and me to see what they are supposed to be. And if we do not disappoint them maybe just maybe they wont disappoint us.

If you judge people you have no time to love them.

Often you have to rely on intuition.

I am only one but still I am one. I cannot do everything but still I can do something and because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do something that I can do.

My grief lies all within And these external manners of lament Are merely shadows to the unseen grief That swells with silence in the tortured soul.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

History is a relentless master It has no present only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.

I am always rather nervous about how you talk about women who are active in politics whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.

Never never and never again shall it be that this beautiful land will again experience the oppression of one by another.

I will stand on and continue to use the figures I have used because I believe they are correct. Now I am not going to deny that you do not now and then slip up on something no one bats a thousand.

Mr Gorbachev open this gate Mr Gorbachev tear down this wall.

Facts are stubborn things and whatever may be our wishes our inclinations or the dictates of our passions they cannot alter the state of the facts and evidence.

Happiness whether in despotism or democracy whether in slavery or liberty can never be found without virtue.

Do not find fault find a remedy anybody can complain.

There is not a liberal America and a conservative America there is the United States of America.

Slanderers do not hurt me because they do not hit me.

By creating an artificial environment we are not stimulating our immune system enough Germs are immune stimulants. They challenge you to be prepared.

If you have built castles in the air your work need not be lost. There is where they should be Now put foundations under them.

If you can speak what you will never hear if you can write what you will never read you have done rare things.

The smallest minority on earth is the individual Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage the wife is in charge.

Philosophy is common sense with big words.

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.

Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.

When you come right down to it all you have is yourself. The sun is a thousand rays in your belly All the rest is nothing.

The most courageous act is still to think for yourself Aloud.

Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming more interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.

I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.

There is always some madness in love But there is also always some reason in madness.

He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either.

Without music life would be an error.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

I am too busy acting like I am not Naive I have seen it all I was here first.

I hate it when people take the things I say and turn them into something sexual. Just because it is funny to them does not mean everyone is going to take it that way And I do not.

If you tell people where to go but not how to get there you will be amazed at the results.

The Internet is the Viagra of big business.

It is the internet like the flu it just spreads like crazy.

When you make the sacrifice in marriage you are sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.

You have to go on and be crazy Craziness is like heaven.

I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.

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