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office one liners -
One liners >> office one liners
 
 
ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK:
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.
E Pluribus Modem
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
All computers wait at the same speed.
DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
We lose a little on every sale but we will make it up on volume
The thing to remember about Marketing in general is the 2-drink minimum
Market research is for the obedience of the foolish and the guidance of the wise
I am not selling bibles - but I think I?ve some solutions to your office
Programming is like sex; one mistake and you have to support for a lifetime
Born free . . . Taxed to death
I don't work here. I'm a consultant
All work and no play, will make you a manager
No job is so simple that it can't be done wrong
When your work speaks for itself don't interrupt

 


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