It is often suggested that good dreams occur more often when we are in good
health and have had positive thoughts right before we go to sleep. Case in
point: I sometimes have bad dreams after I've eaten too much, or too late or
have had a bit too much to drink. I try to avoid this because, obviously, I
don't like bad dreams!
My dreams with sexual content come after I've had great sex or I've seen a
movie with even the hint of great sex in it. Remembering dreams, making
sense out of our daily experiences and committing those daily experiences to
memory are important functions of sleep. And it looks like great sex can
reinforce itself by making good dreams out of the experience too.
In a study completed in 2007 researchers headed by Antonio Zadra, PhD, of
the University of Montreal analyzed the dream reports of more than 3,500 men
and women. They looked at the nature of the content in both sexes. Of the
mixed group eight percent of the dreams involved sexual content of some
form. The most common form of sexual activity was intercourse. Propositions
for sex, kissing, fantasy and masturbation were the next most common dream
Some very interesting parts of the research involved differences in the ways
men and women experience sexual activity. Both men and women described
having orgasms themselves in about 4 percent of their dreams. In another 4
percent of the women's dreams another dream participant had the orgasm but
in the men's dreams none reported that the 'other' participants had orgasms.
In their dreams, 20 percent of the women's partners where current or past
lovers. In the men's dreams, this figure was 14 percent. Multiple partners
were twice as likely in men's sexual dreams and public figures were twice as
likely in women's dreams. This corroborates the evolutionary idea of men
spreading their 'seed'' and women being attracted to 'providers.'
"Observed gender differences may be indicative of different waking needs,
experiences, desires and attitudes with respect to sexuality," said Zadra.
"This is consistent with the continuity hypothesis of dreaming which
postulates that the content of everyday dreams reflects the dreamer's waking
states and concerns -- that is, that dream and waking thought contents are
So does actively and purposefully thinking about sex create more dreams
about it and fundamentally lead to more thinking about sex and then acting
upon that? I have always believed that if women thought about sexual
activities more that they would then have more sex. This is the male model
that is seen in research. Would this actually increase desire in women?
There is some evidence that women in the last 40 years are experiencing more
sexual dreams and that they are more comfortable revealing that they are
dreaming about sex. This is probably due to the increased information on the
Internet, in magazines and more social interaction many women experience
I am wondering if we can actually learn to 'drive' the content of our
dreams. Lucid dream experts say we can with some practice. Just thinking
about what you might want to dream about right before you go to sleep each
night might do the job. Try it for a few nights in a row and see what
happens. Collectively we women may be able to exhaust poor , or lucky,