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Your Resume Really Mean -

Category: Other Jokes>>

Your Resume Really Mean

I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: I?m usually on Prozac. When I?m not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks.

I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS: I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.

I?M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I?ve used Microsoft Office.

I?M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies.

MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES: I hope you don?t ask me about all the McJobs I?ve had.

I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK: I blame others for my mistakes.

I?M BALANCED AND CENTERED: I?ll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunch room.

I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR: I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.

I?M PERSONABLE: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

I?M WILLING TO RELOCATE: As I leave San Quentin, anywhere?s better.

I?M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL: I carry a Day-Timer.

MY BACKGROUND AND SKILLS MATCH YOUR REQUIREMENTS: You?re probably looking for someone more experienced.

I AM ADAPTABLE: I?ve changed jobs a lot.

I AM ON THE GO: I?m never at my desk.

I?M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED: The minute I find a better job, I?m outta there.

I HAVE FORMAL TRAINING: I?m a college drop-out.

I INTERACT WELL WITH CO-WORKERS: I?ve been accused of sexual harassment.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION: Wait! Don?t throw me away!

I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON: Like, I?m gonna hold my breath waiting for your stupid form letter thanking me for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career.


Submitted By:
Nina

Kids Jokes , Blonde Jokes , Women jokes, yo mama jokes



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