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yo mama jokes - yo mamma jokes - your mama jokes -

Yo mama's so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses.

Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.
 
Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.

Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass.

Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
 
 
 
 
Yo mama's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

Yo mama's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

Yo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry.

Yo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.

Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
 
YO MAMA SO UGLY she put the Boogie man outta business.

YO MAMA SO UGLY she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt

YO MAMA SO UGLY when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."

YO MAMA SO UGLY when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'

YO MAMA SO UGLY she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!

YO MAMA SO UGLY minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."

YO MAMA SO UGLY they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.

YO MAMA SO UGLY when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!

YO MAMA SO UGLY yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...

YO MAMA SO UGLY she put Marilyn Manson out of business.

YO MAMA SO UGLY she was a guard at Snake Mountain

YO MAMA SO UGLY they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...

YO MAMA SO UGLY even Harry Knowles refused to date her.

YO MAMA SO UGLY they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!

YO MAMA SO UGLY she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.

YO MAMA SO UGLY Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.

YO MAMA SO UGLY you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.

YO MAMA SO UGLY she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.

YO MAMA SO UGLY we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.

YO MAMA SO UGLY I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.

YO MAMA SO UGLY her shadow gave up.
 
 
 
 
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said " STOP THAT TWINKIE!! "

Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

YO MOMMA SO FAT SHE WENT OUTSIDE IN A RED DRESS AND THE NEIGHBORHOOD HOLLERED HEY KOOL-AID

Yo Momma fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck

Yo momma is so fat her waist size is equator!

Yo Momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell!!!

Yo momma so fat shes on both side of the family.

Yo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas in high heels, she strikes oil!!!

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

Yo momma so fat that when God said 'Let there be light' he told her tomov er fat ole butt over!'

Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.

Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.

Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"

Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo momma so fat we're in her right now.

Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise.

Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...

Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world.

Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling "Free Willy."

Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her!

Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn."

Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please."

Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!

Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma so fat her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!

Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.

Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!

Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

Yo momma so fatHer belly button's got an echo.

Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu.

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get again.

Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whoelband skips!

Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.

Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water.

Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.

Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.

Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo momma so fat she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide.

Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!

Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.

Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth.

Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons!

Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!

Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!

Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development.

Yo momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94."

Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans
 
 



Yo Momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test!

Yo momma so stupid, she thought "Wu Tang" was an African orange drink!!

Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.

Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a spoon.

Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved.

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo momma so dumb she sits on TV & watches the couch

Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.

Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course.

Yo momma so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book.

Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.

Yo momma so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.

Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus.

Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg.

Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper .

Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.

Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "Guess" so she said "Levi's."


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