Category: Point to be Noted

“40-ish”: Over 50 and looking for a 25 year-old

“Athletic”: Watches a lot of sports on TV

“Average looking”: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back

“Educated”: Will patronize you all the time

“Free Spirit”: Will bang anything that moves

“Friendship first”: As long as friendship involves sex

“Good looking”: Arrogant

“Very good looking”: Dumb as a board

“Honest”: Pathological Liar

“Huggable”: Overweight and hairy like a bear

“Likes to cuddle”: Insecure mama’s boy

“Mature”: Older than your father

“Open-minded”: Wants to have threesomes with your friends

“Physically fit”: Does a lot of beer can curls

“Poet”: Wrote ex-girlfriend’s phone number on a bathroom stall

“Sensitive”: Cries if you want him to go see a chick flick

“Very sensitive”: Gay, just wants to procreate

“Spiritual”: Got laid in a cemetery once

“Stable”: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted

“Thoughtful”: Says “Excuse me” when he farts





What woman write and what it really mean:

“40-ish”: 49 years old

“Adventurer”: Slept around a lot

“Athletic”: Flat chest

“Average looking”: Has a face like a bull dog

“Beautiful”: Pathological liar

“Contagious Smile”: Does a lot of ecstasy

“Educated”: Bitchy know-it-all

“Emotionally Secure”: Heavily medicated

“Feminist”: Lesbian just looking to procreate

“Free Spirit”: Junkie

“Friendship first”: Trying to live down reputation as a slut

“Fun”: Annoying

“New-Age”: Lots of body hair

“Old-fashioned”: Lights out, missionary position only

“Open-minded”: Desperate

“Outgoing”: Loud and obnoxious

“Passionate”: Sloppy drunk

“Poet”: Depressive schizophrenic

“Reubenesque”: Fat

“Romantic”: Looks good only in candle light

“Social”: Has been passed around like an hors d’oeuvres tray

“Voluptuous”: Very fat

“Wants Soul mate”: Stalker

“Young at heart”: Old hag

Submitted By: Natalie