James, as usual, came home really late
one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he
drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell
sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes
that she wouldn?t wake up.
He awoke in the middle of the night to a strange man standing at the end of his
bed wearing a long flowing white robe. ?Who the hell are you,? demanded James,
?and what are you doing in my bedroom?? The mysterious man answered ?This is not
your bedroom, and my name is St. Peter?.
James didn?t take the news so well? ?You mean I?m dead! That can?t be, I have so
much to live for, I haven?t even said goodbye to my family? you?ve got to send
me back right away!?
St. Peter replied ?You cannot go back as you were, you have passed away James.
However, you can be reincarnated - but there is a catch. We can only send you
back as a dog or a hen.? James was devastated, but knowing that there was a farm
just down the road from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking
at corn on the ground. ?This ain?t so bad,? he thought until he felt a strange
feeling churning inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said ?So
you?re the new hen, huh? How are you enjoying your first day here?? ?It?s not so
bad? replies James, ?but I have this strange feeling inside like I?m about to
explode?. ?You?re ovulating? explained the rooster, ?haven?t you ever laid an
?Never? replies James.
?Well just relax and let it happen.?
And so he did, and just a few uncomfortable seconds later an egg pops out from
under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him - emotions got the
better of him as he experienced the joy motherhood for the first time. When he
laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that
being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him? ever!
The joy of motherhood continued to build and, just as he was just about to lay
his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his
wife shout ?James, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you?re sh*tting the bed!?