The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4,
because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the
world in one turn.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill
you, including the room itself.
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American “Trail of Tears”
has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American
Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the
face.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead
requests a hand gun and a bucket.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard,
which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged
by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck’s gift, and arranged to have him
written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious
roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year. |
