Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to
live.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45
minutes having sex with his waitress.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris’ victims before they
died? His shoe.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11…. a suicide.
Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter
comes straight out.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped
people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris
and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the
Magnolia.
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker:
Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
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