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General One liners -
One liners >> General One liners
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.
For sale, Hope Chest, brand new, half off, long story.
Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an hour.
For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table,
Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person.
Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.
Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour.
Our sofa seats the whole mob and it?s made of 100% Italian leather.
Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell.
Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.
Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
Open house body shapers toning salon free coffee and donuts
Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... been out while. Better be reward.
Exercise equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175.
Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.
Free puppies: ? cocker spaniel, ? sneaky neighbor?s dog.
Free puppies: part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
German Shepherd, 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
Snow Blower for sale?only used on snowy days.
Bill?s Septic Cleaning: ?We Haul American-Made Products."
Cows, calves never bred?also 1 gay bull for sale.
Nice Parachute ? Never opened. Used once.
Hummels ? Largest selection ever. "If it?s in stock, then we have it!"
Shakespeare?s Pizza. Free chopsticks.
Harrisburg Postal Employee Gun Club.
Tickle-Me-Elmo, still in box, comes with its own
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Department of Redundancy Department
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
If electricity is produced by electrons, is morality produced by morons?
A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"
George Carlinisms
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
Taste makes waist
When money talks, the criminal walks
If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer
It?s a lot easier to apologize than to ask permission


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